Set Aside

set aside…

is how i have felt since you left to build “our legacy”

with another woman

since you have ditched her

and found another with whom to build

since you have built a life with her and her son

spending time with them instead of me

not even wanting to see me most days

i have held hope for us despite all of this

like a fool

afraid to live without you

and yet, i have been doing it…

living without your daily presence

and i am working to free myself from you financially

it is the emotional ties to you that make all of this difficult

i wish that my feelings did not still get hurt by you

every day i am working on that

trying to dim my love for you

trying to dim the light i have kept shining for you

if i could only empty my heart of you…

and make more room for people who actually value my presence

and do not see me as a burden

people who do not cause me harm and then refuse to acknowledge the harm

people who do not see me as some broken thing that needs to be fixed

you keep saying we live two different lives

you’re right. we do.

that began as soon as you left, my love.

you broke those ties and did not see it necessary to repair them

and so this is where we are…